Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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