Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
well you can't waste a boner
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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