His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
