so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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