So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
