just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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