**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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