Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize