I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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