Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
