It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
