wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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