the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
