it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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