my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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