just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
