we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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