now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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