I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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