I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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