jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
