don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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