so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I pour the whiskey from now on
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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