and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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