Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
