me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
