i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
