I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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