): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
