I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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