I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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