You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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