we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
