Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she pinky promised me she was 18
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need a beard to bite.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
