Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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