so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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