I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
