Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
