covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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