Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
