i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
