I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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