No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
