i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
