oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
