never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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