You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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