More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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