I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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