that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
