A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
