would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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