omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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