The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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