I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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