This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
