I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
