Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
